Poems to share


Dear Mercurians,
You spend half of your time complaining
about excess heat,
and fifty per cent saying you’re too cold.
Please make your minds up.

Dear Venusians,
Perhaps putting your clammy hands in your pockets
and investing in a decent vacuum cleaner
would get rid of some of that bothersome heat-trapping dust
(and save you having to import
dodgy ice from the Neptunians,
with the accompanying
exorbitant transportation fees).

Dear Humans,
Maybe you should spend
less time watching television
re-runs of The Blue Planet and
more time sorting out your thermostat.

My dear Martians,
Red is so last season.

Dear Jovians/Jupiterians,
When you’ve decided on your name,
how about considering
the old Earth adage that
size isn’t everything?

Dear Saturnians,
I’m old enough to remember
some of you playing
with a hoop and stick
and a hula hoop,
so don’t think you can
run rings round me
with all of your hoop-la.

Dear Uranians,
What exactly do you intend
to do with all those moons?
The polite and decent thing
would be to share them out.

Dear Neptunians,
Have you ever thought
about sorting out
those bright blue clouds?
I mean, you wouldn’t want
to be mistaken for Earth.
Would you?

Dear Plutonians,
Your claims were dismissed
a long time ago.
Please leave the system at once.
Please leave the system at once.




Rob Walton’s poem ‘Letters’ will be included in the anthology ‘Watcher of the Skies: Poems about Space and Aliens‘ (Emma Press, Sept 2016). The poem is reproduced here by kind permission of  the publisher.

Rob Walton

Rob Walton is a writer, performer and teacher from Scunthorpe. He now lives with his family in North Shields, from where he travels to perform in schools and libraries. Poems, short stories and flash fictions for children and adults have been published by Frances Lincoln (Let’s play!), the Emma Press, IRON Press, Red Squirrel, Northern Voices, Harper Collins (Letter to an Unknown Soldier), Arachne and others. He collated the text for the New Hartley Memorial Pathway and was winner of the National Flash Fiction Day micro-fiction competition 2015. Rob's poem 'Letters' will be included in the anthology Watcher of the Skies: Poems about Space and Aliens.